Hmm… Theory ko lang ito. Maybe you’re running after these men coz they broke up first? That’s usually the case. hehehe… Perhaps, you want to do the breaking.

Let’s reverse the places. What if you broke up with the guy and he ran after you?

“It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm.
I walked up to her and said, “You shouldn’t come see me anymore,” and stuff like how we shouldn’t be together.
She said, “I miss you.”
I told her coldly, “Lets go, I’ll take you home.”
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, “Open up your umbrella, let’s go.”
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn’t eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, “No!”
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, “Let’s go try the other train station.”
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn’t know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.
She begged and said, “Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I’ll go home right after this.”
With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, “Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever.” She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.
She said, “Chris, I can’t find it, it’s not there anymore.”
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I’ve never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn’t care, and said, “Can we go now?”
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn’t want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, “You made up the story of you and that other girl didn’t you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I’ll change, can’t we start over?”
I didn’t say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn’t say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn’t think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain wouldl go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn’t take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide.
But I couldn’t let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn’t know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn’t have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years’s feelings. I didn’t have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I’m close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.
I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, “Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself.”
She didn’t talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn’t hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her.
I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.
She left, and I didn’t get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn’t see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I’m not Chris, I’m that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words. “

may music ba sa utak mo nung hinahabol mo sya? hehehehe. slow mo ba yung pagtakbo mo? heheheh.

CHAD…i’m not generalizing naman relationship allergic lang talaga ako ngayon.

TK…damn, for a while there you made me said! base on a true story ba ito?

DUKE…oo, ang sabi nga ng kanta…”muling ibalik ang tamis ng pag-ibiiiiiiig…” hoohoohoo :p

i like the way you write… =)

I got myself drunk a number of times just to make myself fall asleep. There was a period when I went through a couple of months averaging only two to three hours of sleep each night.

I like what you’re doing and I suggest you continue with it. Enjoy the moment. Love will come to you at a time of its choosing.

wala ako niyang drama-drama na iyan. basta ang alam kong classic line ko:

“sabihin mo, ang liit na nga ang sa kanya, di pa niya alam gamitin.”

not without provocation. the ex thought it was a smart move to kiss and tell. magyabang ba sa barkada. so i dished out that line because i knew men would talk about it. perfect revenge. the word spread. bwahahaha!

Miranda, lintek naman o, you really are making it hard for me to get you accepted at the Pink Sisters’ convent.

next time, sabihin mo nalang na the ex has class because of the fact na custom made ang rubber nya. and generous to a fault dahil sa kanya nanghihingi si Johnny Flavier pag nauubusan ng condoms.

Amen?

hey wayne! thanks!

MIRANDA…ay ‘yung mga ganung nagki-kiss and tell dapat makilala si lorena bobit.

PANADEROS…talagang even the most intelligent people lose their reason and logic pag na-i-in love.

c penny lane ung girl sa movie na almost famous?

yup

kitG- aba’y tarant#%^&*^% sino un?
pero lam mo ganda sa video nun hihihih… tsaka ung umuulan panalo hehe:)

kitG- malay mo umaagos din ung luha niya habang papalayo kaya hindi makalingon , hind ko talaga ma visualize you were on that situation… pa reenact pag nagkita tayo ha hehe…
miss you:)

hehehehe…lintek ang kukulit a. well, sabi nga nila there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. sadly, we all still have to go through the sad, dark tunnel before we see the light. :p

na-miss ko ang blog mo, lola. di pa ko nagbabalik sa pagsusulat e. nag-aabang pa ng momentum. at leats bumabalik na ako sa pagbisita sa mga blog. hehehe. mwah!

“It’s better to have love and lost, than never have lost at all.”

KUYA KIIIIIIIT!
nakanampuch, talagang friend kita! haha. you really know how to make me smile and laugh…di ko pa nakikita mukha mo niyan ah! :p
hehehe peace! amishu too!

RAIN! it’s worth it naman eh. love, i think, always is. it’s just that not everybody is ready for it when it strikes.
honga! welcome back! i visited your site a couple of times nag-iintay ng update hehe.

YSRAEL…i couldn’t agree more