nine hours and counting…

Nips!  An ingredient for Ate Ainna's Christmas and New Year cookie giveaways.

They say how you are when the clock strikes twelve on January 1 is how you'll be the rest of the year.  Well, foreseeing tonight's events, it means…

…I'll be working during the holidays next year.

…I'll be away from my family most of the time.

…I'll be spending noche buena and media noche in another household.

…I'll be disorganized because I haven't had the chance to buy a new organizer to welcome 2008 with.

But it also means…

…My career will blossom.

…My family will continue to be supportive and be there for me a hundred and ten percent.

…I'll be surrounded by genuine friends who will always make me feel at home.

…My life will be full of spontenaeity and inifinite possibilities!

Oh, and I'll also have good hair days the rest of the year ;p

Beginnings are opportunities.  Laugh, love, live. and soar the rest of the year!

Wishing everyone a colorful 2008!

romblon

I've been itching for some lounge time at the beach and PJ indulged my cravings with a free trip to Romblon.  Well, almost free.  The only thing I had to pay for was the fare.  He loves the perks of his job while I love the perks of being his friend :p

Romblon's beaches are a far cry from Boracay, Bantayan, and Capones (my favorites!), but, as usual, the minute my soles made contact with sand…heaven!

PJ's next assignment is in Bataan.  They say there's a pretty nice and secluded beach there somewhere.  So I guess I'll be seeing Bataan soon!

i’m a bitch

In her site, Djong's friend, Hamie, defines "BITCH" as a Babe In Total Control of Herself.

Perfect, ain't it?

Hope everyone's still having a Merry Christmas!  

truths and lies

The truth has a way of revealing itself.

Always always.

No matter how long it's been hidden or has been ignored to avoid guilt.

And it's much harder to run away from because lies, they fade.  But the truth is like a stubborn itch.  It never goes away no matter how many times you scratch.

I came face to face with a torrent of truths last night.  On Christmas Eve, no less.  Someone Up There is does love me and is looking after me.  He doesn't want me to live in lies and go blindly about the remnants of betrayal.

Was I hurt?  No.  Or more appropriately, "not anymore."  Dissapointed?  Greatly.  

My mom used to tell me, "Mag-ingat ka sa mga binibitawan mong salita dahil 'pag lumabas na sila sa bibig mo, hindi mo na sila mababawi."  Much worse if you tell it to somebody else who's not even the inteded recepient of such crassness.

Why am I being vague?  Because it's not in my character to backstab.  It shouldn't be for any decent person. 

In an old friend's words, "Enough airing of dirty laundry."

Because the truth has a way of revealing itself.

Always always. 

—–

After this, I will no longer speak nor think of that truth.  I deserve better and such duplicity doesn't deserve space in my life.

merry christmas everyone!

Love the song, love this scene, love the movie!

Have a blast y'all!

gardenia

It's that time of the year.

You know, when you look back at what you've been doing during the past 11 months, wondering if you've managed to accomplish even a fourth of your new year's resolution.

But what actually propelled me to write this is TK's "WEATHERED by Creed" entry (Thanks, TK, that was sweet ).  He quoted a couple of lines from the song which he thinks describes my site and that of another blogger, Isabel (Hi, Isabel):

"The day reminds me of you, the night hides your truth
The earth is a voice speaking to you
Take all this pride and leave it behind
'Cause one day it ends
One day we die
Believe what you will, that is your right
But I choose to win, I choose to fight"
– Creed

 
"I choose to win, I choose to fight."   I wish I could say exactly how I fought.  How I bounced back from everything.  But, I can't.  'Coz I have the faintest idea. 
 
Back then, I used to take the word "depressed" ever so lightly ("Tumataba ako, nade-depress ako," "Bumagsak storya ko, nade-depress ako," "Bad hair day ako, depressed ako.)  After momentarily wallowing over those "problems" which I ridiculously treated like the world coming to an end, I would then flip my hair and say, "Ganyan talaga 'pag maganda, binibigyan ng problema para fair sa ibang babae."
 
It was only when my life got so fucked up that I discovered how it was to be really DEPRESSED. 
 
I did everything I could think of to get past the depression–I cried, I screamed, broke bottles, stayed out late, kept a journal, spoke with a psychic, got drunk.  For a while, Mr. Johnny Walker was my nightly companion.  I wanted to be dead drunk by the time I got home so there'd be no chance for me to think.  To feel the pain that was eating me away.
 
But the mornings were the killer.  Along with the consciousness that slowly creeps in once I step out of my stupor is the maddening feeling of emptiness.  And then there would be nothing more I could do except pray that today would be better than yesterday.  Days turned into weeks, weeks into months…and what do you know?  I survived and am now stronger and better than ever.

—– 
 

2007 was a year of re-awakening for me. 
 
For a while, I felt lost.  I tried to find my old self only to realize that I will never be the same Koryn that I was before everything got screwed.  And it scared me to death.  It was only until I appreciated the comforts of solitude that I got to know the new me.  And hey, I ain't so bad

The old Koryn was fun, adventurous, charming, optimistic, full of zest.  The new Koryn is a whole lot more. 

Things didn't turn out the way I planned them to.  They turned out the way they were supposed to.  I used to think I knew what I want.  Now I realize I want different things.  Or I want the same things but in a different way.

The people I lost, gained, met, fought with, got close to, or had a brief encounter with all served different purposes in the happy life I'm living right now.  And the happiness that I talk of is more genuine than ever because I'm feeling it despite all the imperfections. 

Yes, I've had it bad.  Really bad.  But right now, I wouldn't wanna be in someone else's shoes.  The moment you realize who you are makes you feel a different kind of high which I wouldn't trade for anything.

Every cell in you body, every dimension of your soul feels in sync.  You don't know the direction but you strongly feel you know where you're going. 

—– 

So from alternative, I switch to pop when I quote Mandy Moore's Gardenia lyrics:

Well, I put so much thought into getting ready
Now I know that was the best part
It's so easy to get caught up in what I'm regretting
Forget what I got from a wounded heart

I'm the one who likes Gardenia
I'm the one who likes to make love on the floor
I don't want to hang up the phone yet
It's been good  getting to know me more

Well, I hear my own voice
Sounds so silly
Keep on telling my story all around
Everything I lost seems so different

Well, this is how everybody gets found

Yes, it's been good getting to know me more.

2008 is gonna be my year.  I'm claiming it.  Just like I'm reclaiming ownership of my life.  And on this note, I flip my goddam hair.

our favorite new yorkers are back!

When Sex and The City aired its final episode, it was as if every girl (single or attached) lost her bestfriend.

But now, Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha back in action! This time, we'll be watching their sexcapades from The Big Screen. And I'm sure, everybody will be ready to jot down those famous Carrie one-liners! By the end of the movie, we'd all be saying, "My God, I so can relate!" Haha!

I can't wait to see Carrie's drop-dead outfits!  

hindi na mainit ang ulo ko

Kasi nakapag-beach na 'ko.  Yahoo!

mainit ang ulo ko

1.  I've been so busy I haven't had the chance to prepare for my Romblon trip.  Which is, by the way, TOMORROW.

2.  The person I was talking to this morning slammed the phone down on me.  Bastos.

3.  I dropped my precious Razr on the hard cold floor.

4.  I went to Eastwest Bank to encash my cheque.  Then I realized it was a UnionBank cheque.  Stupid.

5.  I have two scripts I need to finish within the day.  I haven't been able to preview my materials yet.

6.  I'm hungry.

People everywhere have been pushing my buttons since Monday.  And I'm not even PMS-ing.  So anyone within a ten-mile radius, beware.

stressed much?

Hell, yeah!

Hence the absence of a decent update.  So little time, so much to do….! Haven't even done my Christmas shopping yet!  Not that I have any plans of giving gifts this Christmas (I'm saving up for a post-pregnancy trip with The Sister Extraordinaire and I'm being selfish so sue me!). 

Anyhoo, I'm hoping I'd have more blogging time next week.   Can't let my fans miss me too much :p (Forgive me.  That's my sleep-deprived brain talking…heeheehee…)