truth hour

Yesterday was a day of confessions.

The first cat I let out of the bag during work.  The second one I freed over coffee and cheesecake later in the evening.  At first I was nervous at the reactions I was about to get but after I finally said my confessions, it felt so damn good.  And I'm almost sure that what I did set a chain reaction of events which I hope would lead to something positive.

So there.  Another development in my so-called life (Claire Danes, is that you? :p)

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Psychology calls it selective retention:  1.  The process of remembering only a small portion of what a person is exposed to (Wells, William, Burnett, John and Moriaty, Sandra); 2.  It occurs when a person remembers some messages and forgets others (Zaltman, Gerald and Wallendorf, Melanie); 3. …is the same as selective remembering.  We selectively retain or remember communication that we perceive as having certain qualities (Bittner, John R.).

I call it, "having a light heart."

I've been continuously learning that there are a lot of things in life you have no control over.  That it's your choice whether you'll see the glass half empty or half full.  I've made a choice to be happy.  And to embrace that choice, I've detached myself from anything that I know would just make me bitter or sad.  Like they say, what you don't know won't hurt you (sometimes).  Or hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.  Or whatever.  I focused (see, there's that magic word again) on the things that make me say, "Despite everything, life is still beautiful."   And the past month have been a good one for me.  I've been exploring and learning more and more about myself.  But there are just some things, emotions, or people that you can't just select and remove from your life.  Especially when it comes to friendship.

This morning, I shared Confession #2 to an old friend. 

It felt so nice to be exchanging text messages with her just like the good ol' days.  And eventhough we've been estranged from each other for quite some time, I know she's still one of the persons who really knows me and my quirks better than anyone else.  I once got a forwarded message saying, " Have you ever realized that when people say you've changed, it's just because you've stopped living your life….

…THEIR way?"  I think, we both came to a point that we stopped living our lives in each others' ways.  Well, I can continue wishing that things could go back the way they were during "the good old days."  But there's a reason why they're called "old days."  So for now, I'm choosing to be happy because at least, every now and then, I get a taste of that "good ol' friendship."  And maybe someday, I wouldn't have to keep on looking back because we'll be able to have a good renewed one.